The Feeling Has Lost?

Yesterday night, I have a leisure chat with my friend, Sam. “How’re you doing recently?” I asked. Then Sam answered, “I just broke up?”, “How come?” I asked out of curiosity. Without much thought Sam answered, “The feeling has lost.”

“The feeling has lost…” This was the answer Jane, another friend of mine, received when her ex-boy friend broke up with her no long ago.

After further conversation with Sam, he told me that he doesn’t have the joyful feeling he used to have when he was just started dating with his ex-girl friend. He felt that to continue the relationship it will make both of them unhappy. “Short term pain is better than long term pain,” as we Chinese used to say, he decided to break off and move on even though it will hurt both of them emotionally.

Sam felt that he started to have uneasy moment when he had to think pretty hard to decide where to go for dating; where for him this should come pretty naturally without much thinking. He doesn’t feel like dating for the sake of dating and then the process become part of the routine. Perhaps, dating has become boring or a burden for him.

This has guide to ponder and think, “Is this social syndrome for new generation in this modern society?”, and “Is there a solution for this The Feeling has Lost syndrome?”

Could it be because both of them don’t have the same goal to work on together, and then they lost focus for the purpose for staying together?

Would it be helpful, if both of them can find something that is interest for both, and work together to improve their skills on their interest subject? Since as human being, we need to have the feeling that we are growing and learning, like the plants or trees seek for more sunshine to grow taller in natural process.

Would it be helpful, if both of them can express their real feeling that hide deep inside to each other, and help each other to move to a more joyful and happy feeling? Since most of the time, when the hidden bad feeling of ours has been expressed, it will be released out of our body.

Most important of all, that I learnt from Anthony Robbins, for both lovers to maintain their relationship in long term, he or she must find the “hot button” that trigger the love in the first place. When the “hot button” has been identify, whenever the relationship is down, just click the “hot button” and the relationship will be re-vitalized.

As a regular human being like myself, I felt that we are really forgetful. When we are depressed, we tend to find all the pictures in our mind and prove ourselves that we are really depressed, and forget to appreciate the happy moment that we have been through.

Perhaps, by making the choice to play the happiest moment video in your mind, and seek for solutions to a problem would help much better then just breaking up… just my 2 cents thought though… What do u think?

** Names above are created for illustration purpose. As it is not good to reveal their real name without their permission.