A Devastating Story...

Today i would like to share a story from a book called "Opening The Door Of Your Heart" by Ajahn Brahm, a senior forest monk. This is the last story in his book and really hit me hard right on my head. I read the story almost a week ago, the story still hitting me once a while....

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The Worm and his lovely pile of Dung

Some people simply don't want to be free from trouble. If they haven't got enough problem of their own to worry about, then they tune in to the television soapies to worry about fictional characters' problems. Many take anxiety to be stimulating; they regard what is suffering to be good fun. They don't want to be happy, because they are too attached to their burdens.

Two monks had been close friends all their life. After they died, one was reborn a deva (a heavenly being) in a beautiful heaven world, while his friend was reborn as a worm in a pile of dung.

The deva soon began to miss his old friend and wondered where he'd been reborn. He couldn't find his friend anywhere in his own heaven world, so he looked in all hte other heaven realms too. His friend wasn't there. Using his heavenly powers, the deva searched the world of human beings but couldn't find his friend there either. Surely, he thought, his friend wouldn't have taken rebirth in the animal realm, but he checked there just in case. Still there was no sign of his friend from the previous life. So, next, the deva searched the world of what we call the 'creepy-crawlies' and, to his great surprise, there he found his friend reborn as a worm in a disgusting pile of stinking dung!

The bonds of friendship are so strong that they often outlast death. The deva felt he had to rescue his old companion from such an unfortunate rebirth, no matter what karma had let to it.

So the deva appeared in front of the foul pile of dung and called out, 'Hey, worm! do you remember me? We are monks together in our past life and you were my best friend. Whereas I've been reborn in a most delightful heaven world, you've been reborn in this revolting pile of cow-shit. Don't be worried, though, becuase i can take you to heaven with me. Come on, old friend!'

'Hang on a moment!' said the worm, 'What's so great about this "heaven world" you are twittering on about? I'm very happy here with my fragnant, delicious pile of delectable dung, thank you very much.'

'You don't understand,' said the deva, and he gave the worm a brilliant description of the delights and pleasures of heaven.

'Is there any dung up there, then?' asked the worm, getting to the point.

'Of course not!' sniffed the deva.

'Then I aint going!' replied the worm firmly. 'Nick off!' And the worm burrowed into the centre of the dung pile.

The deva thought that if only the worm could see heaven for himself, then he would understand. So the deva held his nose and thrust his soft hand into the repulsive pile of dung, searching for the worm. He found him and began to pull him out.

'Hey! Leave me alone!' screamed the worm. 'Help! May Day! I'm being worm-napped!' And the little slippery worm wriggled and squirmed till he got free, then he dived back into the dung pile to hide.

The kind deva plunged his fingers into the stinking faces again, found the worm and tried once more to pull him out. The deva almost got the worm out, but because the worm was smeared with slimey filth and did not want to go he escaped a second time and hid even deeper in the dung pile. One hundred and eight times the deva tried to lead the poor worm out from his miserable dung pile, but the worm was so attached to his lovely pile of dung that he always wriggled back!

So, eventually the deva had to go back up to heaven and leave the foolish worm to his 'lovely pile of dung'.

Thus, ends the hundred and eight stories told in this book. <-- this is the killer sentence !!! Is it a joke?

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Martians Vs Venusians

When Men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom -- John Gray

I recently get back to continue my reading on the book by John Gray called "Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus". I asked a few friends of mine, most of them say they heard this book before but never know what is the book about. Anyway, the book is about a practical guide for improving communication and getting WHAT YOU WANT in your relationships.... sounds cool huh?

The less interesting and boring way of explanation would be decriptions of natural charateristics inherited in men and women. By understand those characteristics, we can only understand ourselves better and most importantly we cound understand our partner as well and be more understanding. Haha... I see you started to fall asleep. Wake up !

In short, Martians (men) are describe to be Mr Fix-It. Men value power, competency, efficiency, and achievement. A man's sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve result. To offer a man advice without him asking for help is to presume that he doesn't know what to do or that he can't do it on his own. When men express their problem they are seeking for advice and suggestion to solve the problem.

While Venusians (Women) are describe to be Home-Improvement Commitee. They value love, communication, beauty, and relatiopship. A woman's sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationship. To offer a woman solutions and advice when she is sharing her problems means interrupting her and not listening to her. When women express their problem they just want to express their feeling, and get emotionally connected, and not seeking for solutions.

Therefore, the moral of the story is women please NEVER offer help to men if he is not asking for help. Else, he will feel incompetence.

And, men please NEVER interrupt women when they are complaining, maybe only try to help when women done speaking. Else, she will feel she's not repected.

What an interesting insight.... hahaha... There are more.... it's just the appertizer so far. To find out more, you might want to grab the book from the bookstore and take a look.

Falling in Love...

Few days ago, I started to have some losing control feeling. It is just so confused, and it's like logical mind clash with emotional mind. I just suddenly couldn't stop thinking of her. I wonder why it can be such a sudden change since this is not the first time I met her. The time just went by so slowly every day, and her image just keep flashing in my mind. And it definitely some infection of "falling in love" virus. Suddenly, i just feel like i wanted do more things for her, and give all I can ever give to her.

The moment start and flash by during the time we went for a movie at One U GSC. That afternoon, the cinema is kind of cold, and we were watching "Da Vinci Code". During the movie, she asked some questions and I tilt my body towards her trying to move my right ear closer to her. In the dark and cold atmosphere, I roughly saw her smile reflected by the light from the screen.

Before we went inside the cinema, I told her that the cinema is not as cold during afternoon session compared to the night session. However, this was only based on my last experience visiting the same theater in different cinema mall few months back. (Perhaps, they service their air-cond well this time)

Seeing me holding my arms tightly and rubbing my hand every now and then, she started to say, "Are you cold?" Looking at her playful smile, i replied "Yes, a little bit." Trying to tease me, she asked, "I thought you told me that the cinema is not cold in the afternoon session?" Speechless, I smile back. "I am cold too," she told me. At that time, she was actually covering with a jacket she brought. Then, I started to tease her back and I said, "Wah, you are covering with jacket and I only wearing a thin t-shirt." After that, she trying offer me the jacket and said, "Ok, I lend my jacket to you."

Of course I didn't take her jacket since she's cold too. And, to me she looks so thin that perhaps she was as cold as me even with the jacket.

After a while, I had a sudden urge that i feel like holding her hand or even to hug her so that both of us can get warmer. However, i didn't hug her or even hold her hand. (since we are not boy friend/girl friend relationship) Perhaps this was a natural thought since both of us were cold, and the best solution was to get together and warm each other.

It was merely a thought, and the romantic feeling started to flow inside me. And, I wonder it is the cold atmosphere that fuel the emotional feeling? At that point onwards, perhaps the love angel had already shoot the love arrow at my back... and that has cause me to have those uncontrollable feeling.

Perhaps, the above moment is just a trigger point for me to fell into the "love river". We have been going out for a few times, and we enjoy the moment we have together. (I assume she enjoyed the moment too.) But, somehow the kind of chemical (heart pumping feel) is not there before that. Therefore, perhaps this could be a good signal to improve the relationship further, as she has the personality that I like, and her smile is so sweet. Besides, she is such a nice girl and match my ideal requirement almost ~100%. Wish me luck !!! ;p

Oh.. and also, she live just 5 to 10 mins driving distant from my house. Fate has brought us together and that's nothing i could ask for more... ;)

What is Love?

I read the following article about Love by Beverly Bruce, got it from a blog from a friend. I found out that it's kind of true, and therefore sharing the article in my blog. Perhaps, the global divorce rate won't be increasing if all of us understand LOVE and applying it in our life.

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Love... a small word for such a complex emotion. There is no simple explanation for it, because love is made up of many things. It cannot be measured, because it is a feeling.

All of the money in the world cannot buy love; it has to be earned. It does not happen by wishing; it must come about naturaly.

Love is not an instantaneous emotion, but something that grows slowly between two people, maturing with time. Once love has reaches maturity, there is no stronger bond between two people.

To love someone means being comfortable and at ease with them sharing confidences knowing that they will be understood and held in trust. It means respecting each other's dignity and never being demanding, but rather being willing to give, and accepting that which is given, graciously and with love.

To love someone means having a genuine concern for them, being able to sense that something is wrong without being told. It is understanding the other person's problems, moods and "hang-ups" and accepting all of them even if you don't quite understand. It is excusing their faults, because you know that their good points far outweigh the bad.

Love is always being there for each other with a shoulder to cry on, to give support when confidence levels are low, to give helpful advice when it is asked for, to know when to be silent and just listen, or to give cheerful words of encouragement.

Love is sharing the good and the bad, the hopes and the dreams, the amusing times and the serious times. It is doing things together, yet leaving room for each to grow as an individual.

How do I know these things about love? Because this is the kind of love you have given to me and the kind of love I feel for you.

~Beverly Bruce

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The most beautiful sound

I come accross a story called "The most beautiful sound" in a the book Opening the Door of your Heart by Ajahn Brahm. Within the story, there are some essence of wisdom on creating a harmony world.

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An uneducated old man was visiting a city for the first time in his life. He had grown up in the remote mountain village, work hard raising his children, and was now enjoying his first visit to his children's modern home.

One day, while being shown around the city, the old man heard a sound that stung his ears. He has never heard such an awful noisein his quiet mountain village, and he insisted in finding its cause. Following the grating sound back to its source, he came to a room at the back of the house where a boy was practising a violin.

"SCREECH! SCRAPE!" came the discordant notes from the groaning violin.

When he was told by his son that that is called "violin", he decided he never want to hear such a horrible thing again.

The next day, in the different part of the city, the old man heard a sound, which seemed to caress his aged ears. He never had heard such an enchanting melody in his mountain valley, so he demanded to find its cause. Following the delightful sound back to its source, he came to a room in front of the house where an old lady, a maestro, was performing a sonata on a violin.

At once, the old man realised his mistake. The terrible sound that he had heard the previous day was not the fault of the violin, nor even of the boy. It was just that the young man has yet to learn his instrument well.

With a wisdom reserved for the simple folk, the old man think it was the same with religion. When we come across a religious enthusiast causing such a strife with his beliefs, it is incorrect to blame the religion. It is just the novice is yet to learn his religion well. When we come across a saint, the maestro of the religion, it is such a sweet encounter that it inspire us for many years, whatever their beliefs.

But that was not the end of the story.

The third day in the different part of the city, the old man heard another sound that surpassed in its beauty and purity even that of the maestro on her violin. What do u think that sound was?

It was a sound more beautiful than the cascade of the mountain stream in spring, than the autumn wind in the forest groves, or than mountain birds singing after a heavy rain. It was even more beautiful than the silence in the mountain hollow on a still winter's night. What was that sound that move the old man's heart more powerfully than anything before? ...... It was a orchestra playing a symphony !!!

The reason that it was, for the old man, the most beautiful sound in the world was, that every member of the orchestra was a maestro of their own instruments; and secondly, he had further learn how to play together in harmony.

'May it be the same with religion', the old man thought. 'Let each one of us learn through the lessons of life the soft heart of our beliefs. Let us each be a maestro of the love within our religion. Then, having learn our religion well, let us go further and learn how to play, like members of an orchestra, with other religions in harmony together!'

That would be the most beautiful sound.

Wisdom from a Buddist monk... Ajahn Brahm

It's been a month since my last sharing. Do I stop learning or just loss the enthusiams to share? Perhaps a little bit of both, since sharing is one of the process of learning. Lossing the enthusiams of sharing meaning lossing the some ability to learn.

During this one month, I met a interesting and humorous buddist monk called Ajahn Brahm. Just a brief intro, He is born and educated in Scotland with bachelor degree, and choose to become a monk and trained in the Thai forest tradition. You may wonder why? that's for you to find out. Listening to his talk is really enlightening and fun, since he presented in a simple and easy to understanding way, and what interesting most is he's really funny.

He like to smile a lot, and perhaps because of his believe or wisdom that people will learn the most under a happy environment. He like story telling to carry the wisdom he's trying to deliver to us.

If you interested to find out more, there are some Dhama Talk in mp3 by Ajahn Brahm. Please click here.