Don't Criticize, Condemn, and Complain...

Yesterday, I went through my eBook collections in my PC and found an interesting eBook that I still never have a chance reading it. The title of the eBook is "How to Win Friends and Influence People." by Dale Carnegie. It is one of the Classics book writen in 1930's with more than 25 million copies sold. If you think "Think and Grow Rich" has benefited you, perhaps this will have more immediate effect on you. ;)

It was advised that only read one chapter a day and repeat the chapter and put the principles to test. Obviously the first chapter is about "Don't Criticize, Condemn, and Complaint..." In this book it has shown a lot of example to bring the the 1st Principle. I have, however, write down some important notes for my future reference. You might not get the impression or importance of the principle without going through the example and stories mention in the Book...

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Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.

B. F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior. Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.

Hans Selye, another great psychologist, said, “As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation.”

The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned.

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When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

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Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most fools do.
But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

“A great man shows his greatness,” said Carlyle, “by the way he treats little men.”